It was exactly what I had feared. It was 3:40 AM and I got up again to empty my bladder that was squished in my pregnant abdomen. I thought I didn’t make it to the bathroom in time! (blush) My 3 little girls were fast asleep in their beds and my husband was just starting work 25 minutes away….and my water had broke…. and I was ALONE!
First, I called my sister…I felt slightly panicked and she was about 8 minutes away and could get here quick. Then I called my husband (I should have called him first! Oops!) and no answer…call number two…still no answer…then my cell phone rang and I told him to come home now. The contractions were starting! Ach! My sister arrived and loaded up her car with all my things and put the waterproof pad on the leather passenger seat, that way we could leave our car-seat laden mini-van for her. My husband got home and changed and off we went! I called the hospital and told them we were on our way (the nurse later said I didn’t sound like I was that far into labor).
I couldn’t walk into the labor and delivery ward, so my husband wheeled me inside. The receptionist started asking me for all our information and never in my life did I feel like yelling at somebody ever! I still think I held my patience pretty good. I was able to tell her that my contractions were less than a minute apart fairly nicely….
Well, half an hour later my little girl was born…I didn’t get the epidural, I didn’t get changed into a hospital gown, but the OB doctor did make it on time! Phew!
And that, folks, is my hour and forty minute labor story.
When I’m out with our 2 year olds, the inevitable conversation is;
“Are they twins?”
“No” I say.
Then…”How old are they?”
“Two years old”
“Are they both yours?”
“But they aren’t twins.”
“No, they are a week a part.”
“How does that work?”
“One is biological and one was adopted”.
Now sometimes I get asked the first three questions and then I just keep walking… snickering to myself. The confused look on some peoples faces are priceless!
Other times when asked I just say “Almost!” and keep walking….
So far, only one person has caught on after I say that they aren’t twins both are both mine that one was adopted. I was actually impressed. I guess it’s a hard thing to grasp.
It’s been a fun experience. Having almost twins has made us baby-proof our house to extreme measures, half our furniture and nick-knacks are now in the garage…half their toys too! They teach each other things! Climbing out of the crib at 16 months made me almost cry since I was pregnant. I had planned for them to stay contained till they were 3 at least!
When I was in the hospital with our littlest one, my sister texted me that they figured out how to climb over the yard fence. They were 21 months old! Last week they just decided it was easier to just unlatch the fence and run across the street and down the ally to the house with the swing-set. Carabiner clips now lock the latches. Guess what my husband is doing now? Installing boards on the fence and taking out the wire fencing. Maybe at least that will slow them down!
Last light I was able to leave for the evening without any kids! I hadn’t left our 9 month old for more than a couple hours before, so I was a little nervous. The baby did fine, but one of my 2 year olds was so upset that when I left that she cried so hard she threw up. I told my husband, “you should have called me and I could’ve have talked to her”. My husbands response? “She was fine”. Good to know I can leave without traumatizing anyone!
A month ago I saw an ad in our local paper advertising a concert. My sister is friends with the guy who puts together these shows, and often she’ll get complimentary tickets. I’m normally not a concert person but thought that this one would be fun! I sent her this message; “I might just go to the Peter Cetera concert if you get tickets and ask me. I’m pretty sure I might do that…. you know if someone gives you tickets and you want company….”
Well, she said she wasn’t going to go. Drat.
She ended up deciding to go and last night we got to see Peter Cetera sing! We had VIP tickets and in the center second row. Aaannnnddd….we got to go backstage and meet him! I shook his hand and got a picture with him. Now, you hope these things will happen, but I wasn’t going to count on it, just getting to go was great!
So many good songs were played. You could tell most of the audience was there to hear the Chicago era songs, though. They sure were excited! (Thank you Mr. Loud Whistler Sitting Behind Me, I couldn’t tell which were your favorite songs.) The audience was louder than the band! The back up singer did a fun version of Cher in After All. And Next Time You Fall In Love, Glory Of Love (You know, from Karate Kid II) and You’re The Inspiration….the songs I remember listening to when I was a kid.
And I have a photo with him…did I mention that?
Mother’s Day. *sigh*
I should love it. I should enjoy it. But I really don’t.
A few of my miscarriages we right around Mother’s Day…in fact my first pregnancy ended in miscarriage right before. I remember the time vividly. My family had sent me a floral arrangement expressing their sorrow and it was delivered to me while I was home alone. I was handed the flowers and the delivery boy had me sign the receipt then said cheerfully “Happy Mother’s Day!” I shut the door and sobbed.
I spent my first few Mother’s Days with empty arms. Then we brought our foster daughter home and I was suddenly a mom…but it took 3.5 years for our adoption to be finalized, so I was her mom but still not legally for so long. We were never sure she would be with us permanently, there was always that fear of her being taken away. I always had to check that box on forms that said “other” or “guardian” not “mother”.
When we had our first biological baby, someone said to me “Happy first Mother’s Day!” Ouch. So adoption did not make me a mother in some eyes, I had to have a bio-baby to be a real mother.
I learned to just stay home those Sundays and now I volunteer to sit in the nursery in church. It just still feels so awkward. It reminds of the sorrow I had in those early years of infertility. I know other women in our church who never had children and longed for them. I know single women who never married and had children they hoped for. Others have lost babies and children and are reminded of the void in their lives. It’s like Valentines day when you are a widow or Father’s Day after loosing your dad.
I like to bring flower’s to my mom and mother in law. I appreciate the gifts my kids make for me. I may be the only mom on the verge of sobbing at the Mother’s Day Tea at school… Yes, I am grateful I get to be a mom, but I don’t need a holiday to tell me that I am blessed in that way.
If you know someone who is struggling with this day, send them a note or card. Acknowledge that the day may be difficult for them and that you are thinking of them. Trust me, they’ll appreciate it.
A little late, but here are the April blossoms on my cherry tree. Just thought I’d share!