Song for a Fifth Child

We were expecting my little girl any day and one by one each of our family had been dropping with stomach flu. The night before my husbands last day of work before his family leave started, the flu hit him and me….He called in sick for work and we had laid around sick all day. That night I was sleeping on the sofa trying to get comfortable, I thought that I might be having some contractions, and around 11:20 they started coming every 15 minutes. Since I have never started labor with contractions, only with my water breaking, I wasn’t sure what to do, but decided to call my mom to make the 16 minute drive here. By the time she got here, I knew we had to go and they were about 7 minutes apart. We were 38 weeks 3 days.

My poor husband hadn’t slept much due to sickness and had taken a Melatonin a few hours before. He was kind of groggy on the way to the hospital! Poor guy! I felt so bad for waking him up when I just wasn’t sure if I was actually in labor! Ever seen Father Of The Bride 2 or Fathers Little Dividend? Yeah, kind of like that….

I was glad my husband was home this time, though! His work has him driving all over the county and to try to get him home in time would have been a challenge.

We got to the hospital at 2:15 and I was already at 7cm! We labored for a little while and I was at 10cm about 3:45 or so, I was a little distracted…. The Dr broke my water and our baby girl was born at 4:04am. 7lbs 14oz , 20 inches long. I made it through without any pain medication. Another quick labor and delivery, but we were thankful we made it to the hospital after my previous fast birth!

Our four girls were very excited when we came home! The last kid got sick while we were at the hospital and my mom was taking care of them all. We decided it was best that they didn’t come to the hospital to visit. It was the first time I’d only spent one night in the hospital after a birth, but it was good to be home and fun to see our whole family together. Who knew we would end up with five daughters? I didn’t!

by Ruth Hulburt Hamilton

Mother, oh Mother, come shake out your cloth,
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing and butter the bread,
Sew on a button and make up a bed.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She’s up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I’ve grown shiftless as Little Boy Blue
(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
(Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo).
The shopping’s not done and there’s nothing for stew
And out in the yard there’s a hullabaloo
But I’m playing Kanga and this is my Roo.
Look! Aren’t her eyes the most wonderful hue?
(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).

The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
For children grow up, as I’ve learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.
I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.



This Baby


This picture is not an announcement. It’s a memento.



Last June I discovered I was pregnant for the 8th time. I never imagined I would see 8 positive pregnancy tests in my life. We were excited to be welcoming another little one into our family! Maybe this one was a boy? That would be so fun!!!  I’d be due around Valentines Day.

We kept our little one a secret and were waiting till our first Doctor appointment and ultrasound before spreading the good news…but that day didn’t come. Instead I sent a few messages saying “I’ve miscarried…again”. Not the news I wanted to share.

This was the first miscarriage after my live births. I have lost 5 babies and then had 2  live births.  Just when you think you’re past fertility challenges,  it happens again…

I’m not angry or mad at God. I know this loss was not inflicted on me… it just happens. I’m not perfect and that means my body isn’t  functioning perfectly either. Growing babies just isn’t something my body is great at.  It has taken a long time to get to this point. But I am sad that this baby left us too soon, I had lots of dreams already in the making.

Why do I bring this up now? I think I just want to acknowledge that we did have another baby even though we never saw this baby. This baby was wanted and loved. This baby will never have a replacement.



So this little one may be gone but this baby will not be forgotten…